If I could talk to my teenage self... An introductory perfume buying guide for teens
To Alexandra and Freddie.
DISCLAIMER: Thoughts and guide written by a genderqueer person in their 20s. How my gender identity can potentially influence the narrative and result problematic for the themes explored in the essay will be discussed further in the introduction. The article will be additionally available in Italian in the next weeks
CONTENT:
-External resources
STORYTIME: ON OBJECTIFICATION, YOUTH AND PERFUMERY
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| Billie Eilish on the cover of British Vogue |
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of grooming and abuse
Few days ago, I randomly ended up listening for the first time to Billie Eilish’s new single, 'Happy than ever'.
Let me clarify that this music genre is not in my comfort zone, but she’s definitely a scarily talented artist. I am not familiar with her discography, and the very little I've learnt about her after listening to the latest single and album, is still superficial.
Her voice was immediately catchy, innocent, slightly raspy. The opening melody based on an acustic guitar amplified the nostalgic, old fashioned atsmophere. A melody Marlene Dietrich or Marilyn Monroe could sing.
"When I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever", opens the song with an almost lulling melody. I didn't even realize what she was singing about from how ethereal her voice is. But the more the narration escaleted within the acoustic melody paradoxicity, the more it became disturbing.
I exchanged few thoughts with some of my friends on the song, but what it seemed to capture their attention mostly was the second part, a crescendo in which Eilish rebels to the composed and reflective opening.
It was triggering. I felt disturbed when paying attention to the lyrics, it became even more stressful when relistening to that young voice exploding from pain and self-awareness.
I tend to over-analyze everything, and make everything sociological, so I thought: let’s ask my 16 years old cousin how she feels about this single.
"A feminist anthem." All she replied, by then adding:”OMG you need to check her perfume collection.” She sent a photo of her alleged perfumes and it was nothing like I expected it to look like, but on this theme we will return later.
I then noticed that even by considering the wave of emotions the song made me go through, it didn't feel new.
There was something familiar, and it wasn't her vocal repertoire. Instead, I later realized that when I was in my cousin's age, there was a similar songwriter exploring themes of depression, grooming and abuse.
The difference, at least from my point of view, is that during my teenage years, Lana Del Rey was over-glamorizing and romanticizing such issues, while to me it deon't appear so bourgeois and exocitized by Eilish.
No late millennial or early GenZ escaped the epidemy of ripped jeans, Lana's 2015ish music and one of the worst social media platforms to be ever existed: Tumblr.
Tumblr for the whole second decade of 2000s was extremely unregulated and populated by impressionable teenagers. In order to not live again in my head the trauma of that era, let me link a research by Elena Gonzalez-Polledo, named 'Chronic Media Worlds: Social Media and the Problem of Pain, Communication on Tumblr'.
If you want to learn more about Tumblr in a more accessible way, click play on the Youtube essay down below:
The Rise of Romanticising Mental Illnesses & Why It Must Be Stopped by Youtuber Luke Alexander (Tumblr discussed from minute 10:05)
Is Billie Eilish the new Lana Del Rey?
So, just to let me quickly contextualize: Lana Del Rey is a 36 years old songwriter from New York. She rose to fame during the peak of Tumblr (2012-2016) with her melanchonic 50s Americana/Kennedys-infused ballads.
I was 11 when I heard her first mainstream hit, Summertime Sadness. The song became quickly popular, and still distinguishes from the rest of her work for its tragic and sapphic poetry.
'Summertime Sadness' is the only song of her I remember for not directly romanticizing grooming, chauvinism or abuse. She was still romanticizing loss, suicide and melancholia, but it only later escaleted to this problematic persona portraying a woman with self-diagnosed mental illnesses, twisted Electra complex and romanticization of violence.
Del Rey is gradually abandoning her public persona and embracing the 'Karen' epidemy on social medias, but she has to realize how she contributed to the popularization of what I call the "Lolita worship".
Lana del Rey: the pitfalls of having a persona by Mina Le
Yes, with Lolita I mean Dolores from Nabokov's 'Lolita'. I am trying to not reproduce any language presented in Nabokov's novel: while the book is a thrilling paranoid journey in the mind of a pedocriminal, there are extremely troubling issues our neo-liberal society has harmfully exploited from Nabokov's most known work: few people read the book, of a lot of them limit the reading to its almost Kantian writing. The allarmistic and moral nature of novel is constantly manumitted outside of academia. Some celebrities, mostly famous within teenagers, proudly claim 'Lolita' to be their favorite novel or build an entire aesthetic around the image of a hypersexualized minor. And how many times the opening lines of the novel have been exploited and decontextualize in popular culture?
Bell Hooks' essay on Beyonce highlights better the spectators' alienation produced by medias. Writing about Beyonce's album 'Lemonade', Hooks insists:"Contrary to misguided notions of gender equality, women do not and will not seize power and create self-love and self-esteem through violent acts. Female violence is no more liberatory than male violence. And when violence is made to look sexy and eroticized, as in the Lemonade sexy dress street scene, it does not serve to undercut the prevailing cultural sentiment that it is acceptable to use violence to reinforce domination, especially in relations between men and women. Violence does not create positive change. [...] It is only as black women and all women resist patriarchal romanticization of domination in relationships can a healthy self-love emerge that allows every black female, and all females, to refuse to be a victim. Ultimately Lemonade glamorizes a world of gendered cultural paradox and contradiction. It does not resolve.''
Going back to Miss Lana, I want to quickly rebind to my previous sentence on her phenomenon: she did contribute to the patriarchal narrative that wants women to believe that self-exploiting their own identity and sexuality is empowering. She wasn't the only one manipulating young audiences, and so shouldn't be exclusively blaimed, but the weight she had with her videos, aesthetic and words, cannot be simply excused.
I will talk about my teenage years as an example of why Hooks' hostility towards figures like Beyonce and Del Rey requires an organic empathic approach, instead of what liberal femminism tries to sell us with the narrative of "reclaiming" a femininity and sexuality entirely built on patriarchal standards.
I went to a female-only high school.
I was born into what traditionally is recognized and stereotyped as a female body.
Until middle school, I was taller than boys and didn't have any physical signs of breast or curves. All my friends were already kissing boys and exchanging love letters. "The boys" (a term I hate but I will use as evokative) were already disgustingly objectifying female bodies at their minimum movement. I wasn't jealous of being left out of such toxic and precocious politics, I didn't really understand what it meant. There was no sexual or even platonic interest from my side in experimenting all the first phases of romantic or sexual maturation.
But during the first year of high school my body started changing, and I soon became one of the most curvy people of my class. I never felt female, or feminine. I knew my sexuality wasn't binary, and it took me a lot to realize and accept its fluidity. But regarding gender, I never felt comfortable in the body I was born in.
My first paranoid was being objectified. I still remember my female classmates in middle school during PE running and all the young male demographic languidly cheering their movements. I also remember the period of fear in my first year of high school when a sexual predator was circulating my city, and of course loved the idea of a female-only school. I was terrorized at the idea that my body could be seen as something sexual, and could potentially hurt me or even kill me.
I really didn't want to be objectified. But my body started feeling wrong as soon as the hormones kicked at 14. It felt like waking up and occupying a hostile and distant space I wasn't able to escape.
At the same time, my obsession with Lana and 50s Americana, unintentionally amplified the male gaze in an enviroinment almost reminding the novel 'Virgin Suicides' by Jeffrey Eugenides.
A bunch of Sad Girls sharing the same self-harming resistance against adult figures qualified to help you in this difficult time. We all wanted to go to the schools' psychotherapist, not because we were really seeking for help, but rather to appear more sophisticated to the other schoolmates: going out during math for one hour to the psychotherapist made you feel just like Lana. Lisa from Girl, Interrupted and Lana del Rey were adored in a small diy altar made in our class by us. We all aspired to be them.
It started from taking a cappuccino and a menthol cigarette- anything with coffee was prohibited at home, I didn't know prior to that sip what caffeine tastes like; the menthol cigarette was the status symbol of teens getting into tabagism, which is still a common and normalized issue in Italy-, and developed to abusive relationships with adult men.
My schoolmates were hyping this idiotic narrative of impossible loves and sugar daddies, and so I was with them. We all wanted someone who evoked what Lana, Serena van Der Woodsen or Lolita had.
It took me years to realize I was a victim of grooming. I am scared to think about some of my former schoolmates who never admitted they were too and still live with their predators.
This phase seemed almost outmoded in media culture, until HBO series 'Euphoria' didn't screen few years ago.
Now my 16 years old cousin is being told hyper-sexualized clothings are liberating, drugs are cool and edgy, and being a teen camgirl is empowering.
During the pandemic my cousin got into perfumery.
Most of us did, right? Feeling restricted and worried, having to find alternative ways to entertain ourselves at home, perfumery allowed to experiment a sense most of us usually neglect.
She came to me a few weeks ago showing proudly on her phone screen a photo of 'Amyris Femme' by Francis Kurkdjian. I never owned a MFK and only smelled two of his line, but not 'Amyris Femme'. 300 € for a 100ml bottle is not in my price range, and so I thought shouldn't be for a teen.
I didn't understand how her parents allowed such purchase.
Now, I don't want to get into their economical situation, but we can all agree a 16 years old doesn't need a 300€ worth fragrance.
"My favorite influencer said guys will like it and it will empower me." Was her motivation to buy it.
Dear cousin, and any teen who might read this: the difference is that the influencer got gifted that full bottle. The influencer is also a mature (by mature I mean legally adult) person who does avoid any type of organic discourse with their followers. Especially on social medias where teens are the main demographic.
I tried to explain to her 'Amyris Femme' is not empowering. And it's not my cousin's fault. The perfume is simply a perfume. It won't destroy the patriarchy or get you into college. Yes, as we will see later fragrances are political tools, but it's not their nature, and I also question the scale to which fragrances are effectively political. It's not the scent, it's the marketing and narrative around it that made you believe it will empower you or have all the men at your feet.
And this is not just referred to Amyris Femme in specific: most influencers have an extremely limited vocabulary which mostly culminates with "sexy", "mouth watering", "man eater", "irresistible".
Brands do not even try to describe their products better than influencers, because in a chauvinistic society this is what sells.
I tried to understand the social pressure and desire of owning that bottle. The idea of buying exclusivity and the false feeling of being able to manage other people's status.
She than proudly told me:"But that influencer cares about their followers. They offer a discount code for a dupe company which replicates Baccarat Rouge 540, and I already have it."
When we then went to her room, I noticed over 50 perfume bottles. A 16 years old with 50+ perfumes. Not that she analyses the fragrance notes or their molecular composition, or neither cares about reviewing objectively a scent. She is very confident and straight forward in admitting she likes to share her collection on Tiktok and wants people to smell her.
Of the 50+ perfumes, she had few clones of even more accessible perfumes (with this accessible in this context I mean distributed on a global scale) from 3 different companies. Amyris Femme, Fragrance du Bois, Roja Dove's Enigma, By Killians and some dupes. This is not a collection for a 16 years old, and most of all the dupes are not even excused in that context; I could pay 3 months of rent in London with probably half of her collection.
I couldn't understand why she owns dupes, when she clearly doesn't need all that fragrances; she doesn't even need one honestly (well, we all don't, but at 16?). The answer I received was:"because I want it. I deserve it."
Please believe me when I tell you she wasn't that alienated before the pandemic.
I am not condemning the use of fragrances within teens. I don't find them appropriate, especially with fragrances sold intentionally with gender stereotypes narratives like "glamour", "edgy", "sexy", "damned".
There are fragrances that do not require challenging notes (which hold in collective imaginary hypersexualized notions) or going bankrupt.
I did use fragrances when I was a teen. I loved decadent violets, powdery musks, overdosed gourmands. I was intentionally an oversprayer because I wanted people to notice the fragrance. And I can still enjoy some strong fragrances with nauseating sillage. The difference is, that now I am legally adult, and the notion of sexual or sensual, while not necessarily embraced by every grown person, is still vaguely more acceptable in this context (if dosed correctly).
I immediately recognized one of the clone companies on her shelves: an extremely professional brand that does not reply when asked if they do any type of testings and evaluations before putting the final product on the market, and the same company has been multed few times for intellectual property infrangement. And, what I really do not understand, is that it's not even so cheap. Crappy quality juice -which yes, might smell identical to the original-, sold for 40-60€.
When she came visiting me few days after having kindly offered me her guided perfume tour, I showed her the three dupe perfumes I bought at 20. I couldn't afford a N. 5 or a Poison so the 30€ price difference was big for me, without realising I might have just bought less and not compromise health or ethics. I tried to have a dialogue on why she doesn't need all that perfumes, especially considering she's aware once we'll be back "to normal" she will probably abandon the hobby. I showed her the dupes to make her understand I did the same when I was younger and we talked about the problem of intellectual property.
She commented:"I am not causing any bankrupcy to Chanel for buying a dupe."
Which is, not necessarily wrong at first. But with the explosion of the fragrance industry and its recent economic boom, we've seen this mindset can only come from someone who does not engage with the industry.
It started with the launch of Aventus in 2010, a fragrance marketed towards men by the house of Creed. We will discuss the impact of Aventus in more details soon, but for now is enough to consider how its demand has distructed the luxury hierarchy between niche and designers, which is not a bad thing, but has increased the clone and counterfeit market. Before Aventus, clone companies were not interested in reproducing a niche fragrance, it just wouldn't sell. WHat happened with Aventus and the whole Creed range is now happening with MFK products and most mainstream "niche" houses (but what is even now niche?).
The point is: the only category momentarily surviving from cloning is indie. It's just a matter of time, and indie fragrances will be cloned too (I have some guesses on which indie fragrance will open the dance, but that's for another story). So by buying clones you might not cause effective bankrupcy to Chanel, but you increase the demand of unoriginal and mostly unofficial and unauthroized goods, which will lead to exploit the work of smaller and indipendent brands. In Fashion SHEIN is already stealing from indipendent designers, so give the clone market few months, maybe years, and it will be a universal problem in perfumery too.
If you want to read more on the clone market, I recommend The Fashion Law article "Op-Ed: A Growing Problem on Social Media? The Rise of the “Dupe Influencer” by Christina Mitropoulos, "Instagram has a counterfeit fashion problem" by Chavie Lieber on Vox, "TikTok teens are obsessed with fake luxury products" by Megan Graham on CNBC.
This leads to my last, but probably most important part: perfumes are also a political tool. They reinforce social structures and mostly can reproduce suprematist narratives.
It's part of their nature in Western culture. Perfumes in Europe have always been a luxury good.
Advocating for accessibility means educating ourselves first, in perfumery too. It means understanding not all fragrance brand and authorized retails have prohibitive prices. With all the products on the market, supporting clones is an intentionally naive way to appear relatable to younger audiences, when with few minutes spent on internet, you might find tons of transparent brands with better manufacturing policies and ethics for the same price range of those clones.
I also want to say, to any teen reading this: please take your time. Enjoy your age and realize influencers and trends related to fragrances are dangerous. The "clubbing perfume to have all men at your feet", the "super sexy'' fragrances do not exist in reality. What they are, due to the marketing and influencer narrative, is a potentially criminal encouragement of sexism and violence. And start asking your favorite fragrance influencer to stop engaging with this vocabulary when they have a massive young audience. Please check the next points on how to effectively engage with perfumery and buy fragrances adeguated for you age in the next paragraphs.
And please remember, just like Youtuber Madisyn Brown said: You are not sexually liberated, you are a teen!
You are not sexulaly liberated, you're 16 by Youtuber Madisyn Brown
Tik Tok's thirst trapping problem by Adella Afadi
AN INTRODUCTORY PERFUME BUYING GUIDE FOR TEENS
The intent of this "buying guide'' is to normalize your budget and your interest in perfumery. Every budget is equally worth, and there are many options to accomodate your hobby. Remember we are not retailers or shopping assistant, so the following points are written by two regular consumers and buyers.
If you are looking for extremely specific recommendations regarding a product, please only contact trained professionals and try the fragrance in a store or order a sample first.
1. THERE'A AN ADEGUATE TIME FOR THAT OPULENT SCENT,
AND IT'S NOT IN YOUR TEENS
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| Daisy my Marc Jacobs campaign, source: The Moovie David Report |
I know: starting on a controversial note, right? But seriously, it's not your fault if you like that scent: it was made to be sold. But the issue with that extremely polarizing vanilla scent is that it holds an extremely sexualized connotation within our Western culture. Vanilla, roses, figs, musk, civet, they're all culturally connected to notions of sin, purity or sensuality. While this is clearly infuriating, wrong and unjust, remember you all still underage and we live in a patriarchal society. Saveguarding youself and your friends from any form of abuse and violence, micro or macro, is the biggest form of resistance you can practice.
2. YOU HAVE TIME TO TRY ALL THAT PERFUMES YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIAS.
DON'T GO BANKRUPT FOR SOME SMELLY WATER
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| The Fake Socialite Who Scammed New York's Elite - The Vault |
Most perfume collections you'll find on the internet are huge. But here's the deal: for a normal person with an ordinary job, it takes years to build that collection. Influencers instead receive most of the products for free in order to do some (mostly unpaid) advertising. I don't know why they don't tell you, but that's the truth. If you're on Tiktok, follow Crustyoldmummy, an account by S. Elizabeth. She's been the only transparent and responsible person to say it took her years to build her scented corner. Also, be careful your curiosity for unusual smells doesn't turn into compulsive collecting. We need to stop romanticizing unresponsible consumerism: it's unsustainable, unethical and on a long term also negatively effective on your wellbeing.
3. PERFUMES ARE NOT YOUR PRIORITY...
Souce:Kent of Inglewood
Yes, buying a new perfume hits that serotonin in a different way, right? I know it's annoying, but you're so young: prioritize spending time with your pals, even just going out for a pizza or cinema over a perfume bottle. Also, I'm not your finance advisor and I'm not in the position to tell you what to do with your money, but saving them over some smelly water will always turn useful. If you are invested in perfumery, maybe try to put yourself a maximum budget to invest on fragrances (and not necessarily just fragrances) on a ciclical scale.
4. ... BUT HERE'S SOME INEXPENSIVE AND GOOD QUALITY OPTIONS *and no, they're not dupes*
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| Source: Fragonard |
Fragonard is one of the best brands on the market for selling high quality juices for not more than 60 bucks usually. The EDT are mostly for 30-50€, and have an impressive range of fragrances. Another great brand is Molinard, slightly more expensive (100ml EDT are usually around 70€) on a similar philosophy as Fragonard. Their Basil and Muguet are perfect for everyday occasions.
We will add soon a full list of affordable perfume brands and lines.
5. SOCIAL MEDIAS ARE NOT THE BEST PLACE TO SHARE YOUR PASSION FOR PERFUMERY.
AT LEAST NOT YET. (And please let me explain):
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| Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music'. Source: USA Today |
The fragrance community is mainly made of adult people, because it is a hobby that requires economic access and stability. Make sure you are in a safe space, also online. Avoid close groups and do not engage with forums. Also, remember influencers are not specialists, but mostly they're not your friends.
6. PERFUMERY IS NOT JUST BUYING AND SPRAYING SMELLY WATER. (here's some ideas on how to cultivate your love and education for perfumery without necessarily spending $$$ on a bottle):
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| Paris Hilton reading Sun Tzu. Souce: Paris Hilton on Twitter |
There's so much to learn about perfumery, and one of the nicest things about living in 21st Century, apart from vaccines and Jennifer Coolidge, is internet and its unlimited resources. The problem now is, where can I learn more about perfumes from qualified fonts? You can find below some external resources you might find helpful.
Frangrance institutions and foundations with available free resources to consult:
-IFRA
History of Perfumey have a look at:
-Futurist Scents by Caro Verbeek
-Nuri McBride's Death and Scent
Museums dedicated to the art of perfumery:
- Museo Essenze delle Essenze in Savigliano, IT
-Museo Lorenzo Villoresi in Florence, IT
-Palazzo Mocenigo in Venice, IT
-Perfume Museum in Milan, IT
-Musees de Grasse in Grasse, FR
-Musée du Parfum in Paris, FR
-Fragrance Museum in Cologne, DE
-Museum del Parfum in Barcelona, ESP
-The Institute of Art and Olfaction in Los Angeles, USA
How about taking some perfumery classes? Most of them have a similar cost of a 100ml bottle, but you'll have the chance to learn and chat with professionals!
- London has The Emperimental Perfume Club and recently Maya Njie started offering classes.
- In USA Alchemologie offers workshops and IAO has online classes and events
8. SOME EFFECTIVE TIPS AND RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW TO BUY MORE RESPONSIBLY ON A BUDGET:
-If you're young, prefer perfume oils and water based over alcohol-based fragrances.
-Different brands offer samples and discovery sets and have many sizes available (10ml/22ml/30ml/50ml/100ml)
-Buy from official retailers. If you get scammed from an unofficial shop, the original brand of your purchased products cannot refund, or help you, even if the bottle looks identical to the original.
-Most authorized retailers will add free samples to your order. Buying from official sources is definitely a win
-While I am an adult, I'm still studying and higher education is pretty expensive. What I do in order to occasionally treat myself, is set boundaries, even economically. I put a maximum monthly budget, but for you might be every four or six months etc. I make sure I prioritize everyday life necessities and can easily finish the month without having credits on my bank account. Having for example 20-30€ available monthly to try out new perfumes, doesn't mean I necessarily have to spend them. Make sure perfume is a treat and not a priority.
-We will add soon a list of affordable fragrances and brands external to this article. Please if you are a minor, discuss first your passion or intention to purchase a fragrance with your parents, and remember that some notes unfortunately do carry sexual connotations in our current society.
EXTERNAL RESOURCES AND BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Additional articles on age and fragrances:
-Choose a perfume according to age by Sylvaine De La Courte
-How Young Is Too Young for a First Perfume? by Kari Molvar on Vogue
-Choose a perfume for children and teenagers by Sylvaine De La Courte
Video essays presented in the blog post:
-The Fragrance Community is infested with SIMPS& I'm over it by Purvi Upreti
-The Rise of Romanticising Mental Illnesses & Why It Must Be Stopped by Youtuber Luke Alexander
-Lana del Rey: the pitfalls of having a persona by Mina Le
-You are not sexulaly liberated, you're 16 by Youtuber Madisyn Brown
-Tik Tok's thirst trapping problem by Adella Afadi
Books on feminist theory:
-Female Chauvinistic Pigs by Ariel Levy
-Women, Race and Class by Angela Davis
-Ain't I am Woman? by Bell Hooks
-Feminist theory: from margin to center by Bell Hooks
-We Should All be Femminist by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
-Feminism and Youth Culture by Angela McRobbie
-The Aftermath of Feminism: Gender, Culture and Social by Angela McRobbie
-A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft
-Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of Sex by Judith Butler
-A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf
-The Second Shift: working families and the revolution at home by Arlie Russel Hochschild
Articles on dupes, grey market and counterfeit:
-"TikTok teens are obsessed with fake luxury products" by Megan Graham on CNBC
- Op-Ed: A Growing Problem on Social Media? The Rise of the “Dupe Influencer” by Christina Mitropoulos on The Fashion Lawy
-China’s Grey & Fake Market: An Insider’s View by Essencional
-"Instagram has a counterfeit fashion problem" by Chavie Lieber on Vox
-How and why the grey market is harming the luxury fragrance industry by Scentcity
-The Dirty Secrets of the Grey Market & Fakes by Perfume Shire
-Perfume price war: are the cheap deals too good to be true? on News.comau
